Intimacy

A rainy afternoon. A few moments of deep `unemotional` intimacy #Palm. A frustrating yet good rest.

Wait, did I mention I’ve experienced all sort of high feelings & emotions in the morning? Excited; decisive; long waiting – disappointed; then all of a sudden, run into a crazy trouble (#VNW) caused by a stupid mistake (disable all plugins) and finally rushing as much as I hate it.

Wait it doesn’t end yet (well I didn’t wanna end it yet to be more precise). Some other moments of excitements at the last minutes (Arsenal vs West Ham match). I know rushed decisions without good preparation usually suck no matter how experienced and smart I am.

What a day!

But at the end of it, what stays inside me isn’t those highly emotional moments but instead a deep feeling that I haven’t loved & been loved for a long – long time. Sure, a few emotional loves in just over 3 years or so – by the way, I have some sweetest moments/gifts that I’m very grateful for & will remember forever others could only dream of; massive travelings; many interesting dates with all kinds of people too; dance; travel; hugs; kisses; but sometimes, I was feeling like they’re not real… I’m not fully satisfied!

If only…

Yes those “if only” would have made my life somewhat less exciting but surely more emotional stability (WTF does this mean?)…

Loyal Friends

What is a loyal friend? I had no idea. Sure, I know “A friend in need is a friend indeed” but is that all? What do loyalty really mean in a friendship?

I thought that loyal friend must share a lot of same interests & hobbies with me. He must always be willing to help & support me no matter what. Whether I’m right or wrong, he must always stand by my side.

Well, it’s true to a certain extent but not always so.

Your loyal friends might not have a same religion as you do. He might not share a lot of same interests and hobbies with you either… But these differences won’t stop him from being a true friend of yours.

A loyal friend should generally be supportive yet be able to slap your face hard when he feels you’re way on the wrong track. But he can’t just stop there.

He knows the fact that telling you `you’re wrong` doesn’t help you much. He must offer you his opinions & suggestion of how to improve your situation & suggest that after sleeping on it, you should make your own decisions.

Be a loyal friend. Help them not just in work but also in life!

He will then respect your decisions & actions whether you follow his suggestions or not.

He’s alright when your opinions are different from his. No big deal. No argument. He respects it.

He talks to you like a man but know when to stop. He knows nothing will kill a friendship faster than an ego of a sensitive man.

A loyal friend also makes you feel good when she’s around. Her presence means a lot to you while her constant support offers you more energy and confidence.

Most importantly, a loyal friend will never ever leave you behind & alone not matter where he and you are. She will be there when you’re “in need” & share your victory when you succeed.

Cheers if you have some loyal friends like that!

Don’t take them for granted though as they’re super hard to find.

An Ambivert

I’m comfortable talking to strangers.
> There’d be awkward moments when I’m not close to them but it’s OK for me
> I’m fine with meeting friends of friends & will usually get along well with them
> I can talk to various type of people (young, old, bad/good-tempered)
> I’d love to make new friends & relationships.
< I prefer talking & hanging out with close ones though.

I’m super confident with one-on-one (serious or not) conversations (& less so in a group). That is to say, I love blind dates 😉
> People also know me best in person than in a group.

I know & can talk (in depth) about various topics from news, technologies, science, health, traveling, sports, history to spirituals stuff, business and even politics & religion (though I prefer not to).

I don’t really enjoy reading (for fun) though I do read a lot – mostly business & self-help books.

I can & oftentimes initiate group conversations. I ask questions.

I’m definitely not in a talkative group of people.

I was & am still sometimes not open talking about certain stuff like relationships & business.
> I won’t tell everyone about my relationship or the girl I’m dating with. I don’t usually share with others my personal stories (habit?).

I don’t speak everything that comes to my mind.
> I select. Sometimes I prefer silence…

I prefer talking to someone in person than through phone or messages.
> It’s easier to express my feelings & able to avoid lots of misunderstanding.
> though sometimes I have to message – I usually keep in touch with someone through messages (it’s faster & easier that way)

I get along well with almost all people.
> I can easily `click` with certain people. But usually it takes times to know me personally & fully.

I can tell good stories especially with loved ones.

I kinda have a good sense of humor.
> I joke. I do talk nonsense.

I listen.
> I tend to listen more & talk less these days even with close ones.

I’d like to explore (now more on culture & people than historical places) when traveling.
> One thing for sure is I hate staying on hotel rooms at night!
> I’ve traveled solo, with 1, 2 persons & in a small group of 5-8 people & I prefer traveling with my love (2) or in a group of 4 (my perfect traveling people).

A crazy 2015

Though I’d tried to keep my expectations low (at least in writing) in the last year, I actually expected a lot during that year. As a matter of fact, I told my close friend during the last Chinese New Year (CNY) that 2015 would be a defining year for me. I thought I’d learned enough in 2014 and 2015 was the year for me to get results.

That high expectation didn’t come unreasonably as what had happened many times in the past. It did come with a “carefully crafted” plan which was well in action as early as mid December 2014.

One of my major goals last year was to get an Aussie PR. After going through all their procedures, advice & checklist, my first thought was to take the IELTS, get a good score, and therefore, satisfy their 60-point requirement.

However, things didn’t happen as easy & straightforward as I would expect. It seems I was too excited to take actions (in an attempt to avoid procrastination) that I didn’t plan well enough. I either omit or underestimate too many “trivial” which turned out to be the nitty gritty. This is the first time I experience a planning issue. It’s often said that most people fail because they didn’t take (enough) actions Or they’re not determined enough to follow through their plans. But it was not the case here.

If you fail to plan (properly), you’re planning to fail!” – Benjamin Franklin

I learn that lesson the hard way. In such a crucial year, the first `domino` fells early was apparently not a good sign…

Anyway this is a summary of my 2015.

What I’ve achieved in 2015

I complete 5km in 23:17′.

What a life milestone! I learn the “Hunger & Desire” lesson though as I quickly stop running after achieving my goal.

Massive Traveling

2015 was a massive year for me when it comes to traveling. I’ve been to Angkor Wat & Great Wall of China – one of 7 wonders of the World during my 4 trips to 6 different cities – 5 of them I had never been to. And I finally step out of the SEA to visit China – the second communist country that I visited this year after Laos. A lot of things to learn & ponder!

Seminars & Learning

This year I joined around 6 seminars & workshops including the NAC, Tony Robbins Business Mastery and the S$2,000 plus III. I’ve learned a lot (though applied little) & had chances to meet (& make friends with) many like-minded & successful people, for which I’m deeply grateful!

A Short Love

I fell in `love` again albeit a very short one. It didn’t go anywhere either. I knew it. It was more like a game. I have to admit though sometimes – sometimes only, it felt like a real & awkard high school love. The feeling of losing yourself in love is fantastic.

Trump Story & My Team

What I’ve learned in 2015

Communication is a Huge Problem for Many

I didn’t notice that brutal truth as I myself was an awful communicator. I was surprised if not shocked to find out that most people – no matter who they are, what they’re doing, which positions they’re in, are pretty bad at communication. I notice it through my (old) friends – who I thought were mature & could communicate well, my colleagues and even my boss (& many more). They would all like to back bite, gossip, argue, criticize publicly, talk more than listen, rarely care about others… Gosh!

What left after a conversation with them is usually bullshit as they’d talk about trivia (news, movie, etc.) & nonsense Or emptiness as they’d either make hurtful comments or don’t give a fuck about the person they talk to but themselves.

Skilled communicators will have a huge advantage!!! 😉

How to Judge a Person

First, I don’t think I should judge anyone but myself. But if I have to (for business or recruitment reasons), I would first invite her for a one-on-one conversation. I believe there is no better way to know a person by talking directly to them (not via phone or messages nor through conversations in a group). I realize though there are people who could behave & communicate pretty well in a group, it’s doesn’t necessarily reflect who they really are; what their thoughts and personality is. In fact, they would behave & talk very differently in a group vs one-on-one as sort of fit-in the environment.

Second, I will try to find and read her (personal) blog (not Facebook or other social sites). I believe writing (especially those written not for the public) shows a lot of one’s characters & thinking. People could act (behave & talk) diplomatically to be friendly and pleasant in person but rarely be able to hide their thoughts in writing.

Again there are exceptions though. I’ve met a few people who write very thoughtful writing & comments but turn out to be a childish twenty-something boy in person. Having said that, when combining one-on-one communication & reading their blog, it rarely that I could mis-judge a person!

Every Cloud has a Silver Lining

The news of my Uncle getting cancer came as a real shock to me just a few weeks before my 23 birthday (in 2014). Though he was not personally close to me as he was to my mom, I pretty much admire him for what he has done as a principal of the most reputable secondary school in my hometown for more than 10 years.

I went around asking my friends if they knew anyone who could possibly cure or delay the cancer development… It turned out not as bad & fast as I thought and that he’d still be OK for … a while. My mom said hopefully he could survive this year (and he did until after the last CNY). I totally didn’t expect that I could lose an uncle or aunt and I could never imagine it was him as he was relatively young (at least much younger than many of his sisters) and seemed still very healthy. In fact, he just asked me to drink a glass of beer just 2 months ago when I went back home…

In such chaos (a few weeks later I found out my first love also got engaged), I went to read more about “Birth & Death” & try to find a definite answer to questions like “is there a life after death?“. In the midst of searching, I accidentally and fortunately came to know Thich Nhat Hanh – a Vietnamese Zen Master. I listened to some of his videos on Youtube and somehow got addicted. His calmness and gentleness clearly showed in his voice and eyes totally attract me. As I told my good friend, he is only the 3rd Vietnamese person who makes me spend hours watching his videos (I become kinda less patient towards long videos as I rarely finish a 90-min movie unless it’s really good). To dates, I’ve finished watching almost all his videos available on Youtube both in English and Vietnamese. Without doubt, I become a better person than I was before getting to know him. I’m now much more patient, calm and gentle than before.

During his funeral, I also gotta a chance to catch up with an old secondary friend of mine who would become my travel buddy for my next 2 amazing trips to Laos, Cambodia & China.

There is always a positive side on every sad & difficult situation!

Find vs Change

Soon after talking & planning with her about our first trip, I realize it’s much easier to talk to someone who shares the same interests and hobbies than to convince or change someone who doesn’t (especially my existing friends). Everything was so easy & straightforward. There is absolutely no need to persuade or convince anyone anything. I still remember how difficult & time consuming it was to convince a few friends of mine to travel to Brazil to watch the World Cup 2014. I tried hard but ultimately failed. If I could invite someone like her instead, I think they would probably accept it quickly.

• As a leader, sometimes I have to be tough, decisive – though sometimes it makes me look like a `dictator`. Don’t care about that `thought` (what others think of me). Let results explain – I don’t need to explain everything < They don’t even care #Chloe #Po. I can’t please everyone anyway!!

The Hunger

The hunger, the desire of keep moving forward – winning trophies after trophies, years after years & not being self-satisfied or complacent with what he’s done & achieved is what I love most from Sir Alex Ferguson.

In fact, I believe it’s what makes him one of if not the GREATEST manager of all time, separating him from other good mangers like Jose Mourinho and  Carlo Ancelotti.

#SundayNightFootball #lostONE

“What are you seeing me for?”

• What happens to you?
• I’m…
• That’s all? – Yes
• So what are you seeing me for?
• I’m feeling unwell that’s why… I want to recover…
• Oh you want Vitamins right? Ok you can wait outside.

Why on earth can a doctor ask his patient that kind of question??
I bet anyone will also feel great hearing his sarcastic questions & voice.

Why on earth can a doctor reject examining a patient after he said he’s “tired, lack of energy and wants more sleep”…

I can’t give you MC. MC is for “illness, sickness”. You’re not… If I give you, I’ll get into trouble with the Medical Council.

Before that, everytime I came & saw him, he was very nice. He asked briefly what happened to me then did an usual checkup. Of course, by the time I could go & see him, I already felt much better… So my body temperate would become more or less normal. So do everything else (this is also a problem with MC in Singapore – at least with me. I can’t see doctor when I’m really sick. When I can go, it’s when I already feel better). But he never said anything.

In the end, he always asked “Do you want MC?” – Yes. “How many days would you want”. I always said one day only but I supposed if I said 2 days, he would probably accept it.

What a hypocrite!

.

It turns out I probably did something wrong this time. I didn’t tell him any syndrome of “illness” so that he could examine me & give (or sell) me medicine.

By the way, I don’t intentionally `reject` his medicine. I won’t pay for it (using my money) anyway. As a matter of fact, I can claim it from my company.

I didn’t tell him I got “headache” or “sneezing” as normal because I’m really sick & I don’t want to get lots of same medicine every time…

Should he had just told me that (he wanna sell more medicine) in the first place, I would have followed & paid him more. I wouldn’t have had any troubles with my bosses as now it turns out I didn’t come to work without a MC.

Anyway, I still needa pay 30 bucks for a very rude “consultation” plus 10 dailyvit tablets.

Well done!

.

(After I asked, he unhappily did a real quick body checkup for me. After that, he said everything’s fine & offered me if I wanna do a blood test (which costs $70) since “you wanna do a checkup right? Since everything looks alright, you can do a blood test now). Of course, I rejected – partially because of the unnecessarily high cost – though I can claim it later anyway, the time it would take,  but mainly because of his attitude & voice. I guess there must be something wrong… And I was right (though I didn’t really know until he refused to give me MC. I thought he was just having a bad day at work).

#Experience #Doctor #Singapore

@Mabel & others’ comments:

Maybe you’re not Singaporean(!??) – Really?

Come on, of course I didn’t just tell him “I’m tired”. I did tell him “I’m not feeling well for the last few days”. I just didn’t tell him some sickness keywords mentioned above.

#love #lasts

Just drop me a call or a message, I will try my best to help #old #love #letters