A rainy afternoon. A few moments of deep `unemotional` intimacy #Palm. A frustrating yet good rest.

Wait, did I mention I’ve experienced all sort of high feelings & emotions in the morning? Excited; decisive; long waiting – disappointed; then all of a sudden, run into a crazy trouble (#VNW) caused by a stupid mistake (disable all plugins) and finally rushing as much as I hate it.

Wait it doesn’t end yet (well I didn’t wanna end it yet to be more precise). Some other moments of excitements at the last minutes (Arsenal vs West Ham match). I know rushed decisions without good preparation usually suck no matter how experienced and smart I am.

What a day!

But at the end of it, what stays inside me isn’t those highly emotional moments but instead a deep feeling that I haven’t loved & been loved for a long – long time. Sure, a few emotional loves in just over 3 years or so – by the way, I have some sweetest moments/gifts that I’m very grateful for & will remember forever others could only dream of; massive travelings; many interesting dates with all kinds of people too; dance; travel; hugs; kisses; but sometimes, I was feeling like they’re not real… I’m not fully satisfied!

If only…

Yes those “if only” would have made my life somewhat less exciting but surely more emotional stability (WTF does this mean?)…